Wish you were here

Nothing new or really exciting is going on with the Stanley family at the moment. Matthew is growing and learning more everyday. He had his 15 month checkup a couple of weeks ago. He is still on the same growth curves – 2nd percentile in height at 28.75” tall and 20th percentile in weight at 22 lbs 6 oz and 70th percentile in head circumference. So he is still a shortie like his mommy and daddy. His pot belly is no cause for concern of him being over weight. And he has a big brain like his momma! He says new words every so often, but usually will only say them once. I find myself saying “did he really just say that”. He consistently says ma-ma and da-da (although now he is starting to say daddy). He will occasionally say bye bye, uh-oh and baby. And he has said school, shoe, eat, wet, cup, blue, bubble, puppy, doggie, snack, cookie, thank you, hot, and a host of other words only once or twice. He does recognize words when you say them and responds appropriately most of the time. He likes to color and I have an assortment of artwork from daycare. He doesn’t like to finger-paint or play with play dough, which I find odd since he doesn’t mind getting his hands messy in his dinner plate. He is getting much better at using a fork and spoon, but fingers are still faster.

As I watch him everyday and tell people all the new things he is doing I often find myself thinking about those who I can’t share these developments with. People who I really wish were here. There are several people who would really love to know him and watch him grow up. So here is what I would say to them if I could call them up:

Grandma Cathy,

you would not believe how much Matthew has grown since you saw him last. He has grown 3.75” taller, which doesn’t sound like much, but on such a short fella, believe me it’s a lot. He has gained 6 lbs. And he has 8 more teeth since the last time he showed you his pearly whites. And he is becoming so smart. He loves to bring you things that you ask for, like his shoes or books or Elmo. He loves to find the doggie (or as he calls it the “Ddddd Dddddd”) in any book, picture, TV show, magazine, etc.

So he loves to play with that red dog you got him when he was just a couple months old. And he can climb the slide you got for him all by himself. He is so proud when he does something independently. He also loves to clean, which he must have gotten from you (goodness knows he didn’t get that from me). He will take a rag and wipe the floor, especially if he has spilled something on it.

He loves to sweep, so much so that we had to find him his own little broom so that he would leave my big one alone. Oh, and he loves to dance. Anytime a song comes on that he likes, he just can't seem to help himself. He just starts bobbing and swaying to the music.

He will suck on a lemon slice without making a face, which he also must have gotten from you. He has recently become very interested in the book you got him for Christmas (I hate you didn’t get to record it for him). He looks more and more like Brian everyday. His smile would light up your whole world if you could see it. He has the cutest dimples and the biggest eyes. I really hate that you are missing so much and so is Matthew. He is so much fun and he would love to play with his crazy, silly Grandma.

Even though you aren’t here for him to know, I promise you that he will know about you and how much you loved him. I always tell him “your Grandma Cathy gave you that” whenever he plays with something you bought for him. I show him your picture on the refrigerator and tell him who you are.

Great Granny Mable,

you would not believe how sweet Matthew is. How I wish you could meet your great grandson. You would just want to eat him up. You would get a kick out of how he blows kisses when he says goodbye. (He doesn’t always blow them to you, sometimes he just keeps them.) You would love to watch him play and run around. You would light up hearing his laughter and since he is so ticklish, he laughs a lot. And he laughs when you kiss him on his neck. He thinks that is the funniest thing. He is so much like Brian, so you could probably give me some tips and advice. I am sure we will tell him things you used to say. Gene is constantly telling us that if you were here, you would get on Brian for turning Matthew upside down. I know Matthew would love getting spoiled by you.

Great Granddaddy Rose,

I so wish you were here to know your great grandson. You would love watching Matthew, and Ayden too. Both boys love the outside. You could tell them stories about fishing and hunting.

I wish you could bounce them on your knee and sing to them and tell them stories like you did with me. I sing “have I told you lately that I love you” to Matthew and think of you every time. You would not believe how fearless Matthew is. He is quite the daredevil climbing on everything.

And if something he wants is out of reach he will push a chair over to it to climb on and try to grab it. He has no fear of falling. He is so clever. Sometimes I can see the gears turning in his mind as he is trying to figure out something. Not a week goes by that I don’t wish I could call you and tell 'ol gramps something he did. I miss you all the time. And even though you’ve been gone for 4 years now, I am still not used to it. As much as you loved being a granddaddy, I know you would love being a great granddaddy even more.

Great Uncle Rayford,
you would not believe how funny Matthew is. I wish he would have been able to get to know his crazy Uncle Rayford. Matthew loves to laugh and have fun, which is something I know you would appreciate. Sometimes he laughs at himself for no reason at all. I think he must have told himself a joke that no one else would get, so maybe he has a touch of your sense of humor. He makes funny faces just to get us to laugh. So I know he would have found you hilarious.

We often hear things that remind us of you, so Matthew hears your name. And one day we will tell him an edited version of who you are (some things just aren’t meant to be told to little kids), so that he will know all about the crazy relative that he never got to meet.

I would tell all of our loved ones looking down on us to keep sending their love, because even though we can’t see them, we can still feel their love. I hate that you aren’t here for us to call, see and hug. I hate that Matthew won’t have memories of his own of each of you, because you all are so special to me and Brian. And I will make sure that Matthew knows who you all were because you are people who would have cherished him. He will know you through the stories we tell him and the love Brian and I have for each of you. He will know that you all are with Baby Logan, loving and cherishing that baby for us while we are still down here.

We're having a great time with Matthew, but boy I wish you all were here to enjoy and love him too.

I love the song "If heaven wasn't so far away". Here is my little poem it inspired:

If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up my son and go for the day.
Introduce him to his grandma
I’d watch her watching him in awe.
I'd take him to his granddaddy Rose
So he could teach him all he knows.
We’d go find his granny Mable
And sit talking around her table.
Uncle Rayford, we’d have to see
Share a laugh cause he’s so funny.
Spend some time with Baby Logan
Cram in as much love as we can.
Then tell them we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away

Our Summer Vacation

Well we are finishing up our vacation, so I thought I would blog about it. The vacation had fun times, boring times, relaxing times, and stressful times – pretty much a typical vacation. We didn’t have a lot of funds to do anything extravagant. But we just really wanted to spend some quality time with each other and Matthew, as well as Matthew's grandparents.

Matthew’s vacation actually started a week before mine and Brian’s. On Sunday, the 19th, Me-Ma and Pappy came to our house for a visit. They stayed all week long. So Matthew got to stay home from daycare and spend some quality time with them. Unfortunately Matthew doesn’t get to see them as often as they or I would like. So it was quite a blessing to have them around for a whole week. While they were here my dad replaced our back deck and put rails all the way around so that Matthew can play on it pretty safely. When Me-Ma and Pappy left on Saturday morning they carried Matthew back to their house with them. That was very hard for me. We have never been away from him overnight before. And honestly I would have been fine not having him away overnight until he was old enough to understand what was going on. It has nothing to do with not trusting others with him. I just feel like I already miss so much with him since he is in daycare all day. He is growing up on me so fast. I just want to treasure every moment. Matthew has slept next to me pretty much since the day he was born. I was worried that he wouldn’t rest well without me. I worried that he would do something amazing without me. I worried that he would be mad at me for not being with him when he cried for me. And as irrational as it sounds, I worried that he would forget who I was.

Anyway Brian and I figured we could survive a couple of nights without him. My parents originally wanted a week, but I couldn’t do that the very first time he stayed away from me. Anyway, they left with him on Saturday morning and of course I cried. I wanted to run after them and tell them that I had changed my mind. But I decided to be strong and let him spend some quality time with my parents. It gave Brian and me a chance to spend a lot of quality time together. It was nice being able to go on dates with no regard to what time of day it was. Going out with Matthew involves planning around nap times and his meal times and trying to go to restaurants when they aren’t busy so that we don’t bother other diners. We were able to stay up late (‘til 11 pm), sleep in (‘til 8 am), watch entire TV shows (without having to pause because we can’t hear over the squealing), eat in the living room (without a toddler to make a mess), leave the doors open in the house(without worrying about little hands playing in the toilet or emptying the pantry), eat whenever (even dinner at 7pm), shop whenever (we stayed at BJ’s until they cut the lights off) and stay out past bedtime. We enjoyed being able to be spontaneous. We were able to just enjoy being a married couple for a few days. It was nice remembering the times before we had so much responsibility. But we found out that we couldn’t go more than a little while without talking about Matthew (what did we talk about before we had him) and we really missed his routine and everything that goes with being his parents. Nurturing our marriage is very important. Mine and Brian’s relationship is the most important relationship in Matthew’s life. So I think we need to have regular dates to just be a couple. But we probably won’t need several days in a row too often. Brian and I do a pretty good job trying to stay connected. I got a chance to do several pages in Matthew’s scrapbook. It was great.

I am grateful to my parents for giving us those few days. They helped me realize that Matthew can sleep without me right next to him. He still woke up several times a night with them, but for the most part he drifted back to sleep with a little comforting. Me-Ma and Pappy also had Ayden at their house on Matthew’s second day there. The boys really enjoyed playing together. They rode in the golf cart, went to the bait shop, played in the pool, went to visit their great grandparents, went to the park and a petting zoo, went out to eat and just enjoyed their time with Me-Ma and Pappy. I can’t wait to see the photos that they took while they were together.


By Monday night Brian and I were very anxious to get Matthew back in our arms. So we let Mama and Daddy know that we were definitely coming on Tuesday. (That had been our plan all along, but they told us to come whenever we got ready.) We went to visit my grandparents before going to my parents, which was nice. Then we headed for Me-Ma and Pappy's. We actually beat them getting home with the boys that afternoon. When Matthew saw us in the living room, one of my fears was realized – he was mad at us. He wouldn’t have anything to do with us for about 30 minutes. It broke my heart.

On Wednesday we went to Aunt Christy’s house so that the boys could play in Ayden’s pool. Man did they have a time.


I am so glad that they played well together. They stuck together, even when Matthew had to go in time out for pulling Ayden’s hair, Ayden sat in the time out chair with him. Matthew hit a major milestone Wednesday night – he slept all night long for the first time ever and in the pack in play on top of that. He slept from 8 pm until 6 am. That was a major victory for our little family.

On Thursday morning we headed to Lake Gaston to spend some time with Grandpa Gene. Grandpa bought a little pool for the deck so Matthew could play in it. Matthew had a ball.


(We are going to have to get a pool for our new deck now.) The pool actually doubles as a bouncy toy.

He went for golf cart rides and played at the playground.



He loved playing in the little pool on the deck and the kiddie pool, but hated the big pool.


His favorite part was trying to empty the pools with a red solo cup or bowl. At least he didn't need expensive toys to make him happy.


He loved playing with Bailey the dog. He really LOVED Bailey.

He is so fascinated with animals, maybe he gets that from me. Bailey would have preferred to be left alone some of the time, but she tolerated his petting and touching her nose very well. And in exchange, Matthew shared his pop tarts and snacks with her.

Matthew really had a good time playing with Grandpa. Grandpa even got in the little pool with him.

They both had fun until Matthew got too interested in Grandpa’s chest and belly hair. Grandpa made the mistake of squealing after Matthew grabbed a handful, so it became a fun game for Matthew and a painful one for Grandpa.

Matthew danced for everyone whenever there was music with a good beat playing.

Saturday morning we left the lake to come back home. As much fun as we had, it was wonderful to be home (once all the bags were unpacked and the laundry was done that is). It is such a relief to have a few days to relax at home before returning to reality. It gives us a chance to get back into our routine. It was a pretty good vacation minus a few moments. Maybe our next one will be completely filled with fun and relaxation.

Beating the Heat

It’s been a little while since I have updated. We are all doing well. We are trying to make an effort to do things as a family besides stay at home. I am a home body and am quite content to stay at home. But we want to expose Matthew to the world and help him learn about all the things he is so curious about.

We have been trying to beat the heat, which is a challenge when you have a little one who LOVES outside. We can not go out the door without Matthew grunting to go with us. If you ask him if he wants to go outside, he takes off running for the front door. And apparently when you are little, you are totally unaware of heat and humidity. I am ready to come back inside long before he has had his fill. Brian and I are trying not to let our love of air conditioning keep us from playing outside with Matthew. We have made a few trips to the park. Matthew loves to climb on the playground equipment.





Brian got Matthew a Splish Splash Baby Pool a couple of months ago. It looks like a ton of fun and the water doesn’t get too deep, so it doesn’t pose too much potential danger to Matthew’s ears (no swimming with tubes in his ears). But what we didn’t realize when we got the pool was that a constant flow of water is needed to keep the rim inflated to hold the one inch of water inside. And constantly flowing water from the tap does not have a chance to warm up. So Matthew does not like to play in it since the water is so cold. It will take your breath away.


Matthew got his first haircut. He sat in the chair like a big boy and was so patient. He didn’t cry until she got out the blow dryer to blow the snippets of hair away. With the haircut he looks more like a toddler and less like a baby.
BEFORE:



AFTER:

We carried Matthew to the science museum. He loved the fish tanks and turtles. He was not impressed by the dinosaurs or any of the exhibits that did not feature moving animals. He did however like the area where the walls were like cave walls and the large dinosaur footprint that he could climb in.







Everyday he is getting more and more personality. It amazes me to watch the person he is becoming. I see pieces of myself and Brian in him. I've loved watching him become this little person over the past 14 months, an independent soul with his own set of likes and dislikes and -isms. There really aren't adequate words to describe the amazing, complicated little person he is becoming. Each day I am reminded that I bear tremendous responsibility in taking care of him and helping him grow up. I hope that I don’t let him down. When I look at his face, so innocent, pure and untainted - I just melt. It is just so unbelievable to me that I could produce something so beautiful. I am so thankful to be his Mommy. I am truly blessed beyond words. God knew exactly what He was doing when He gave Matthew to me. He knew that Matthew was exactly what I needed.