Before I was a Mom

Of course with this being Mother’s Day weekend I have been thinking about my time as a mom. It amazes me how much can change in just a year. I got my first handmade Mother's Day card and it brought tears to my eyes.




I have seen this poem (for lack of a better word) many times before. I adapted it to fit me and my feelings.

BEFORE I WAS A MOM

Before I was a Mom
I ate hot meals whenever I got hungry,
I wore whatever I wanted with no thought to how easy it is to clean,
I brushed my long hair several times a day,
I had long conversations on the phone, and
I slept as late as I wanted and I slept all night long.

Now that I am a Mom
I eat quick bites that may be cold in between spoon feeding my little one,
I wear things that have no special washing instructions and keep stain remover on hand,
I quickly brush my shorter hair and put it in a pony tail to keep it out of little hands,
I have hurried conversations when it is nap time, and
I go to bed early because I don’t know what kind of night we will have, I wake up by 7 even on weekends and I wake up during the night for several feedings.

Before I was a Mom
I took my time at the store,
I never tripped over toys or tried to recall countless lullabies,
I didn't worry whether or not my plants or cleaners were poisonous,
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on, or
pinched by tiny fingers.

Now that I am a Mom
I shop quickly before baby’s patience runs out,
I have baby toys in every room and sing children’s songs for hours,
I think about every thing that could wind up in my little one’s mouth, and
I don’t even get grossed out by puke, poop, snot, slobber or pee.

Before I was a Mom
I never thought about immunizations,
I never held a crying baby so the doctors could give him shots,
I never looked into tear glazed baby eyes and cried,
I never felt my heart break into pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt, and
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

Now that I am a Mom
I weigh the benefits and risks of each treatment,
I know that even things that hurt are in his best interest,
I know that some things hurt mommy more than baby,
I know how helpless you can feel when your child is sick and there is nothing you can do, and
I know how my heart delights in every little smile and laugh.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down,
I never sat up just watching a baby sleep,
I never woke up in the middle of the night to make sure everything was okay,
I never knew how lightly I could sleep, and
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

Now that I am a Mom
I know how special it feels to be trusted enough to have my baby fall asleep with his head on my shoulder,
I know that a sleeping baby is beautiful enough to bring a tear to my eyes,
I know that I will always wake up to check on my little miracle in the night to make sure he is safe, and
No job is more important than feeding and caring for my sweet boy.

Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts and my body,
I didn't know how it felt to have my heart outside of my body,
I didn't know that having something so small could make me feel so
important,
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment, or the satisfaction that comes with being a mom.

Now that I am a Mom
I find my mind daydreaming of his future, my thoughts wandering to him and my arms aching to hold him,
I feel complete when the three of us are together and incomplete when we are apart,
I know utter joy, sheer happiness, and fulfillment.

Before I was a Mom
I never knew that something so tiny could affect and change my life so much,
I never knew that one heart could love someone so much,
I never knew I would love being a Mom,
I didn't know the bond between a Mother and her child,
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much.

Now that I am a Mom
I can’t imagine my life without this tiny person,
I know my heart can swell even bigger because it does everyday,
I know how special a Mom is,
And I am so thankful that God blessed me with a child to love.