It has been awhile since I posted anything. It’s not that life has been mundane – far from it. Things are just busy and not with any huge events, just busy with everyday living. Brian took Matthew with him to the grocery store, so I am sitting here reflecting on where I was last year.
Last year at this time I was going to my ob twice a week for non-stress tests, blood pressure checks and check ups. I was worrying that I would be put on bed rest for mine and Matthew’s safety (they sure threatened it enough). I was trying to figure out how we would get by if I went out on maternity leave that early. I was also getting so excited about the impending birth of our miracle.
And I was, like now reflecting on how much can change in a year’s time. Two years ago at this time, I was grieving for a little life lost during pregnancy. I was wondering why and how it could have happened. I was heartbroken that I wasn’t going to get to hold that little baby. Two years later, so much has changed. I am still a mommy. My heart still misses that little baby who went to Heaven early. But my heart has begun to really heal. My beautiful baby boy was just the perfect band-aid for that hurt. I still don’t understand why we lost that first baby. But I know that if we hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have Matthew now. And he is so wonderful. It is so much more than I ever imagined. Matthew truly is my rainbow after the storm. And I thank God for giving us this perfect and priceless gift.
This year has sped by so quickly. I am trying to capture and lock all the special moments in my heart. But that is impossible, because every moment with our little family is special. Matthew is growing so much and his first birthday is looming on the horizon. Since my last blog one major thing has happened – walking.
He is walking and running everywhere now. He loves to hide under things. He can do patty cake and itsy bitsy spider. He does say ma-ma and da-da on purpose. He loves to eat. He recognizes when you say the words cup, ball, book and elmo.
He gets into all kinds of stuff - cabinets, hampers, drawers, you name it and he wants to play in it. He has the cheesiest grin.
I am definitely in love with being a mommy. Each day is a new adventure and a new blessing. I am going to miss these fleeting days of babyhood. I hear the truck now. I guess the time for quiet reflection is over. Time to do some work.
