1. Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend. Awhile back, some of the older children were playing in Matthew's classroom at daycare. Matthew is in awe of the bigger boys (ie 4 - 5 year olds). He was standing nearby as the boys lined up to file out of the classroom. One little boy looked at Matthew, waved, smiled and said, "Bye Matthew, we don't like to play with you." This was then repeated by the next 2 boys in line. Matthew just grinned and waved. I am so thankful that he is too little to understand that those boys were being mean.
2. Bend but don’t break. This is a lesson that I am constantly reminded of. The stress of the world is constantly pushing against us. There are numerous trials. But I have to remember that the strongest trees, the ones that survive the storms, are the ones who are willing to bend. We have to compromise sometimes (not our ideals) but on other things (what to have for dinner, what to do this weekend, what to purchase, etc).
5. Never cheat and never lie. It is true that cheaters never win. Oh it may seem like they do sometimes, but in the long run a cheater loses. Always be honest with yourself and others. Lying is destructive and it ruins what it touches.
6. Be a best friend. You are going to need a best friend, so it is important that you be one. As you grow up you will have many "friends". You will get into fights. Sometimes you will make up and sometimes you won't. You will grow apart from quite a few of your friends. When you get to be a grown up with a family of your own, you will probably be able to count the number of true friends you have on one hand. But those few true friends will be a blessing to you. Make sure you are a blessing to them.
8. Do your best. You don't have to win all the time, but the goal is to win. We live in a society where everyone gets a trophy. Well, that’s not how life works. In life you will be judged on your performance. Work hard and give 100% effort and I’ll be proud of you win or lose. Along with doing your best, play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose with dignity, respect authority, be a team player, control your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe you'll even learn to throw or catch or hit a ball.
10. Never let your prayin' knees get lazy. There is unspeakable power in prayer. The Bible teaches that if we ask, we will receive. Pray about everything. Sometimes when things are going well we forget to talk to God. Prayer is for everyday, not just when we are in trouble or need something. Look to God for guidance.
12. Never underestimate yourself and don't let anyone else underestimate you either. You can do anything. I don’t care what anyone says: you can do anything. be anything, create anything, achieve anything. The only thing that limits you is your imagination. You can be someone's hero, someone's inspiration.
14. Do unto others as you want them to do unto you. You should treat everyone with respect and as you want them to treat you. Simply put, if you’re mean and a jerk, expect people to be mean jerks right back to you. If you treat people kindly and with respect they will generally do the same back to you. Hate will never fix hate. Anger will never cure anger. The only way that you will ever help make the world into the kind of world that you want, the kind of world you deserve, is by being the change you wish to see in the world. If someone hurts you, uses you, takes advantage of you, getting angry and doing the same thing back (or worse) will never change the situation. It might make you feel better in the short term but it’s not going to help them see just how pointless or ridiculous their actions are. The only way to help them is to treat them the same way that you want to be treated: with compassion, love, and understanding. You don’t have to let your emotional response rule your life. You can choose how you live your life and the only choice that’s ever going to help you create the life you want is treating other people with the same amount of understanding and compassion that you want to be treated with.
15. Think before you speak. This is a very important lesson. I often forget it myself. There is a proverb that says it is better to be silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Once words leave your mouth, you cannot take them back. Sometimes it’s better to say nothing at all than to speak just to be heard. Words have the power to heal a broken heart or inflict terrible pain. Choose your words carefully. The Bible says the tongue has the power of life and death, so be careful what you speak on your life and the lives of others.
16. You can’t change the past, you can only create the future. What’s happened, has happened. It’s done. You can never change the past and it is futile to try. The only thing you can ever change is the present moment as you move towards the future. The ONLY thing the past is responsible for is where you are now, not where you go from here. The power is in your hands to decide and direct your future. Don't ignore the past for there are very valuable lessons in the past. But don’t dwell on it. It’s happened. All you need to focus on is 'what have I learned and what am I going to do with it now?'
17. Surround yourself with people you love and don't worry about everyone else. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to love you. It’s a simple mathematical impossibility. Everyone has their own beliefs, drives, desires, and needs and you’re never going to fit all of them. So don’t even worry about trying. Surround yourself with inspiring, committed people who love you for who you are and ignore everyone else. Let them go their own way, thinking their own thoughts, being their own people, and just keep living your life.
19. Your most precious commodity is time. You can only spend it once. Time is the only thing you can never have more of. You can always get more money. You can always get more stuff. You can always meet new people and try new things. But once you live through a second, that second is gone forever. I don’t know how many breaths you have on this earth, but I do know that your time is limited. So make the most of every second. It’s a beautiful gift that millions of people who used to live on this earth simply do not have the pleasure of. Don’t measure your success in life based on the amount of worldly possessions you own or how big your bank balance is. Measure your success in the only truly limited resource you have: how you spend your time.
20. You can not control the actions of others. You can only control how you react to them.
21. Don't ever be a bully and don't start fights. Don't pick on others; be a defender of those who are getting bullied. Don't allow yourself to be bullied. You don't have to put up with someone putting you down. It is a hard line to walk trying to teach you not to be a bully but also not to be the victim of a bully. So don't pick a fight, but by all means if some moron clocks you, please defend yourself with the moves taught to you by your daddy.
22. Invest in your education. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.
23. Treat women kindly. I pray that one day God blesses you with a wonderful wife one day. Remember that a lot of how your wife treats you will be as a result of how you treat her. If you want her to treat you like a king, then you must treat her like a queen. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts. Right now you are very nice to girls, all girls. You want to smile at them and talk with them and make them laugh. Stay sweet and you will find the girl God has for you.
25. You reap what you sow. Brian and his cousin John pulled some crazy stunts when they were growing up. We are reaping some of that with our fearless little daredevil, Matthew. I was a huge chatterbox when I was younger. I am reaping that now, especially on my car ride home when Matthew talks excitedly the entire hour long car ride home.
These are just a few important lessons I hope to teach my sweet boy on his journey to becoming the man God intends him to be. I pray I do a good job.
